You know you’re a mom when…
…you actually feel so relaxed you almost fall asleep when you’re getting cavities filled at the dentist, despite the fact that dental procedures make you have anxiety attacks. Somehow, be it the laughing gas and numb mouth, I was able to get a 20 minute nap while at the dentist yesterday. Before becoming a mom? That wouldn’t have happened.
…you end every evening talking to your husband in whispered voices about all the awesome things your kids did during the day. This is literally how Matt and I end every single day. We lay in bed, with both kids asleep in their respectable sleeping zones, and just talk about all the funny/awesome/incredible things our kids did.
…you actually have to say things aloud like “don’t pick at your bum!”, “don’t tug at your winky!” and “do NOT pee on your brother!” more than 5 times a day. Potty training is just awesome, isn’t it?
…you consider “me time” to be any length of time where you can pee/brush your teeth/shower without interruption. Although, all my “me time” is interrupted.
…sex is no longer as simple as “when ever, where ever”. Because, as above, any alone time you get, even with your husband, is interrupted more often than not, and when it’s not interrupted you’re both either too tired or someone doesn’t feel well. Or kids are awake.
…instead of buying a stitch of clothing for yourself, you buy new clothes for the kids. Because, you know, their entire closets and dressers are overflowing and you have 2 jeans that fit and shirts that “do the job” but don’t flatter you at all. They still need that adorable cardigan, especially because it matches one their dad has.
…you long for a vacation (or even just an evening) away without the kids but when you finally get it, you worry about them the entire time and barely enjoy yourself.
…most of your Facebook Profile pics are of your kids. I often don’t get dressed so…they’re cuter.
…either you’re a disaster, or your house is. If I’m looking good, you can bet your ass my house is a mess.