Saturday night, I was feeling super exhausted and tired, so I decided to go to bed at 10pm. I asked M to come snuggle with me for a bit, I had had a trying day and just wanted to fall asleep in his arms. We laid in bed and took a walk down memory lane, to the night that we met. We recounted some of our favourite times together, moments that took our breath away, moments that made us laugh, even the ones that made us cry. The trials, the almost giving up but then not because we were and still are crazy about one another and even when things get so tough we can’t imagine making it through, we somehow do. We come out stronger. We started out with nothing, and we’ve had to struggle to get where we are today and there will be plenty more struggles before we’ll be where we want to be, financially anyway.
“I don’t tell you this often enough, but I am thankful for you. Every single day. You are everything that I wanted and more.” I told him, and he kissed me, smiled and told me to stop being smoopey. Then he held me closer and I fell asleep in his arms. He wanted until I was on the cusp of being out cold for good to kiss my shoulder and tell me, for the millionth time that day, that he loved me. Every time he says those words, I feel a happiness I can’t even begin to explain.
Yes, he drives me crazy at times, and I drive him crazy too. Most of our fights and disagreements are around money, or over me being ridiculous over insignificant things…which happens more than I’d like to admit, really. I’m kind of a hypocrite. I’ll be all “yes, this can happen” and then when it does I’ll be pissed off. Word of advice: don’t say yes if you mean no, am I right? I’m also guilty of not expressing myself and then getting pissed off when M magically doesn’t read my mind. Oops?
But, for every fight there are a billion kisses and smiles and tears of laughter. The good weighs out the not so good by a thousand and one. Obviously, you can’t have sunshine and daisies 24/7. You can’t get along perfectly with someone all the time. Sometimes, even the people you love most get on your nerves and that’s okay.
He’s an amazing, remarkable guy. He does so much for us and doesn’t do it for rewards but because he wants to. He loves his boys, and me, and it shows with everything he does. Sure, he still enjoys getting out of the house and hanging with friends but who doesn’t. When we were up North, I’ll admit that pissed me off…mainly because there wasn’t many people I could go out with and so it felt unfair to me. We also couldn’t get out together because we didn’t often have a sitter.
Here though, here things are different. Here I get out just as much (if not more) than he does. Here we get chances to go out together, even if our “dates” include kidless grocery shopping trips.
I haven’t been the perfect wife or mother, and he hasn’t been the perfect husband or father. We’ve both made our mistakes but we’ve both remained 100% loyal to one another and our kids, and always will be. Sure, we sometimes don’t know the right thing to say to soothe a hurt and we don’t always have communication down pat, but marriage is growth. Life is growth.
One of my absolute favourite things about M and I is our passion for one another. Have you ever seen Life As We Know It? That scene where Katherine Heigl’s character and Josh Duhamel’s character had a huge fight in the kitchen during Thanksgiving dinner, and afterwards Josh Lucas’ character said “if my wife and I fought like that, we’d still be married“? It’s like that.
Every day I am thankful that I get to walk along beside him, every day I’m thankful that he holds my hand and my heart. Every day I’m thankful that I wake up next to him, even if he twists up the blankets so bad that every single day I have to remake the bed 😉