“And I never wanted it to not be in my mouth.” (Alternatively titled: true story bro)

On Saturday night, after the kitchen was [somewhat] clean and all the guests had left, I went to a Barn Party hosted by one of my good friends from High School. M was supposed to come with me, but he wasn’t feeling very well (too much food, perhaps? Food coma, maybe?) and Aj was teething so M didn’t want to leave him. I, on the other hand, really needed a break and to de-stress. Is that bad? Not at all. It wasn’t a random “oh, the kid is crying so I’m gonna peace” moment, I had been looking forward to this get-together with friends for weeks now. Everyone was in town for Thanksgiving.

My friend, Sarah, picked me and my bottle of wine (from M’s uncle, I should host functions more often if wine is the present…) up. Then we headed to pick up one other girl, Chelsea. We were discussing wine and Chelsea was talking about how she wasn’t really a fan of wine, except for a wine she tried at Olive Garden that she said “and I never wanted it to not be in my mouth, it was that good“, which inspired the title to this post and made me laugh hysterically because I’m secretly a 12 year old boy at heart (ok, maybe not…maybe I just have the same maturity level. Sometimes).

The barn in which the barn parties are usually thrown is kind of in the middle of nowhere, in an old chicken barn that’s been somewhat redone to hold a main room, a bedroom and a small bathroom. The farm is owned by one of the guys I went to high school with who is currently living in a different country, and Steve rents out his old room in the barn. This farm oddly resembles the one from Walking Dead and it does kind of freak me out. Considering I almost got stabbed by a rusty rod and an old barbed wire fence before I even got inside, I’d say my fears are not unfounded. Despite all the dangers (you know, rusty rods, old barbed wire fences, and potential zombie evasions), I’d much rather go for drinks there than at a club.

There must have been about 30 people there, some of which I recognized and some of which I did not recognized  Until I got my buzz on, I hung out with the ones I recognized and caught up with some old friends. We discussed how ridiculous those stick people family stickers are (sorry to those of you who have them), and how I totally wouldn’t want to announce to a potential hitch hiker serial killer how many people were in my family. Then we ranted about the “baby on board” stickers, which we all agree were meant to make sense but people leave them in their vehicles even when they don’t have their kids inside which makes it redundant. And they still drive like asshats half the time anyway.

Once I got my buzz on, I started talking to people I don’t really know. And it was funny. A couple people and I were laughing about the awkward conversations you have with strangers, where you desperately search for something kind of interesting but not too interesting because you don’t really want to spend all night talking to random people but you also don’t want to look ridiculous or boring. Then we discussed the awkward silence that follows small talk and the attempts to find a distraction to dip out. It was funny.

Of course, Steve brought out his pet snake (an actual pet snake, I might add) and I spent some time cuddling her. She tried to steal my clutch. Or rather, Sarah’s clutch that I borrowed because my jean pockets weren’t big enough to hold my cell phone and keys. I really want to get a snake, but I’m going to wait until the kids are teenagers.

Before I knew it, it was time to go. Cory (Sarah’s brother, the designated driver who was my ride home) almost left without me haha. He was expecting to drive three people home, but a fourth jumped in for a ride and he counted that person as his third. Someone (Dan, probably) reminded him I was still there, so I didn’t actually get left behind but man that would have been kind of funny. Ok, probably not. But still.

We had to make a stop at Tims before we dropped everyone off because Sarah was hungry. She made me go in which I warned her was not a good idea, and it wasn’t. I demanded to know the baker’s age because he looked young. He was 15, so I lectured him on the importance of being a kid while he could and also applauded him on his work ethic. Then I pissed the cashier off because I asked for my chocolate chip muffin to be zapped in the microwave and she rudely told me that it just came out of the oven. I was like “well, cool, but I want it HOT so zap it k?” and she huffed about the 10 seconds of her super busy life I took (dude, we were the only ones there. It was 2am and I doubt they got slammed til 6am).

I got home, went to bed, and M let me sleep in the next morning. Then my friend Andrew came over at noon with his girlfriend for a quick visit (he hadn’t met Aj yet). The rest of the day was spent kind of being lazy, because it was Sunday and I was tired. I wasn’t hung over, but I was tired.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *