I was going to wait to write about this, because it’s still up in the air, so to speak. We’re back and forth on things, but since it’s occupying a lot of space in my head, I figured writing about it would help me sort through it a little.
M has been seriously considering joining the military again. He wants to do a trade in the military, sign on for 3 years and stay in Canada.
I’m being as supportive as one terrified of their own shadow can be. I know that, in the long run, this could really benefit our family. We could save up a lot of money and I could finally go back to school and start working myself.
But obviously…joining the military when you have small kids isn’t an easy decision to make. People in the military sacrifice so much. M would miss out on a lot of the growing our kids will do. He’ll potentially miss out on birthdays and school plays (assuming that our kids will even be in a school play, I never was), and he’ll miss out on coming home after work and seeing us all before bed. He’ll go long lengths without seeing us…and that terrifies not only him but me too. That’s scary.
It’s scary on my end too. I won’t lie, I’m very dependant on M. I sleep like shit if he isn’t next to me. But I know that if worst came to worst, I’m capable of handling everything. You can’t have kids and be all like “oh, I can’t do it on my own” because what if you had to? What if you didn’t have a choice? So, I don’t think that way. Not anymore. I’m not foolishly thinking it’d be easy by any stretch, I know it’d be hard and I’d have days where it’d really feel like I couldn’t do it. But I would do it, because what else would I do?
M’s always wanted to join up and I don’t want to hold him back from anything. If it were my dream, I wouldn’t want someone telling me no. At the risk of sounding like a 50s housewife…it’s M’s job to do the best thing he possibly can to provide for our family (since I can’t) and we’re thinking that if he can get on with the military in a trade, that’d be the best thing. Financially. Scary as all hell…yes. This would make it possible for me to go back to school, too, so that at the end of his contract I could work as well so he wouldn’t have to work as hard.
I don’t know. I guess I’m just putting this out there to see if there are any mama’s out their who’s significant others joined the military after starting a family, and what was it like etc?