I’ve tossed the idea around about leaving blogging community for good. I’ve been censoring myself so much that I all but stifled my own creativity, and it hasn’t felt good.
The truth is…I don’t want to stop blogging. I enjoy it. A lot of people I care about don’t understand why I put so much of myself out there…and that’s ok. I don’t understand why some people smoke. I don’t judge them for doing it, but I don’t understand it and I wouldn’t personally do it. Just because I don’t understand it and wouldn’t do it, doesn’t mean I have the right to tell someone to stop.
And frankly, my husband smokes. I don’t like it but I understand why he does it. It’s a social thing, it’s a stress reliever — just like blogging is for me. After I realized that, I laid off telling him to stop. Sure, I want my husband to be healthy and frankly smoking isn’t healthy, but it’s his choice whether or not he wants to quit.
Blogging is my choice. I’ve taken precautions to make sure that my family is safe. I don’t post pics of my kids and I don’t use full names or locations. My husband is on the same page as me about this – in fact he’s the one that’s encouraging me to stay, to keep writing and blogging. Because he knows this is my stress reliever; this is my social thing. Most of all, he knows I’m not ready to quit and he wants it to be my decision, not someone else’s. He doesn’t want me to make a decision on this because so many people I care about don’t understand my need to share this much of me.
But…it’s who I am. I enjoy it and I like it, I’ve toned it down a lot but here I am.
I’m staying, and that’s that.
And I’d like to thank M for helping me see all this, and for encouraging me to keep doing what I love to do – even if it’s something no one else can understand.