Last night, I was so inappropriately funny that I put Russel Brand to shame. I didn’t even have the excuse of a bottle of wine…I was just hanging out with Matt, making inappropriate comments because that shit is still funny when you’re married. Only I can’t really share said inappropriate comments, because it will push this blog into a terriority I’m terrified of…I can already see the horrendous Google searches that are bound to happen. So, I’m not going to share them but know that they were more hilarious than Miley Cyrus’ wardrobe choice at the VMAs.
In other news, our road actually looks like an ice rink. I’m extremely sad about the fact that we haven’t had enough snow to make that wicked sledding hill in the back yard. How cool would that be after a night of freezing rain?! Imagine how fast we’d all go! My papa used to purposely ice our backyard sledding hills. Also, this likely means that I won’t dare attempt to drive my truck for the first time today once Matt finally puts the new power steering pump in. My track record with snow/ice and vehicles is not a good one. At this rate, I likely won’t drive it until spring. But just so you know, it’s my truck.
I think this also means that I won’t want to brave the icy roads alone tonight after the Christmas party like I said I would; which adds another strike against going. I’ve got a mental pro/con list in my head. It looks a little something like this:
Attending the Christmas Party Pros:
● It’s mainly geared towards the kids (for the first bit anyway). Christmas music, activities, and games – probably all the stuff I saw on Pinterest and thought about doing with the boys and then never did because I suck at being a Pinterest mom…arts and crafts and baking are not my strong suit.
● I won’t even really need to keep a close eye on my kids because there will be so many older kids there who I can pass the daunting task 9ff too.
● Matt complains that we “never do anything but sit at home” and this would get him off my back about that.
● Matt’s brother is going to be in town for it…plus his mom, step dad and my sister and her family will likely all be there.
Attending the Christmas Party Cons:
● Social Interaction. That whole “anxiety” thing that makes me want to shit my pants, vomit and cry all at the same time. Plus unpleasant conversations with jackasses always tends to happen to me at social functions without fail. Not a single party has gone by without a jackass adding to my feelings of social anxiety by their asshole-ish ways of conversing.
● The roads are (and probably still will be by 9pm tonight) icy. Which definitely will not help with the anxiety because in addition to social anxiety, I also have driving anxiety. Luckily my quick sarcastic witt camouflages that to the blind eye but the sensations of wanting to shit my pants, cry and puke will be oh so strong.
● It will be WAY past the boys bedtime…there’s no telling how they’ll behave and that, my friends, is terrifying.
● I won’t be able to work on my novel at all and I’m already way behind on that. I wae hoping to have first draft finished by December 31st, but Christmas is a mere 4 days away and then we will be crazy busy.
That’s pretty much the gist of my pro/con list. It grows every second, but I’m still getting used to this new phone so typing isn’t as easy as it once was. (Yeah, I primarily blog from my phone because it’s easier than starting up my dinosaur laptop that needs to be plugged in to work, and I can do it anywhere…the couch, the toilet, possibilities are endless).
Which reminds me…any suggestions for an app that watermarks photos? I was using iWaterMark but obviously, that’s an Apple thing not an Android thing.
Also, I totally just got word that the freezing rain storms are going to continue all day and evening, and Matt heard that the guest list for this party is over 100 people not including kids so he made the decision to not go. Instead, I get to try and make a gingerbread house with the boys…Because wrapping presents with them went so smoothly.