When my pain levels get to the holy shit, this is unbearable point, I get to make the conscious decision between being a useless zombie or a total bitch. It’s really a lose/lose situation for me, considering…who wants to be a useless zombie or a total bitch? Those choices aren’t exactly ideal.
If I take the T3s (the current pain killers I rely on), I turn into a useless zombie. I become slow and sloth like, and oh so tired. To make matters even more awesome, the T3s only dull my pain. It’s still there, the edges are just dulled slightly. I pretty much drool on myself (kidding — it’s T2s that make me drool) for slight relief. I become a blob on the couch or in my bed. I don’t get the things done that I want to get done.
If my pain is unbearably bad and I don’t take any pain medication, I turn into a total bitch. I’m snappy, grumpy and unable to really do much. The things I do get done, are done with a bitchy, grumpy attitude because I hurt. So again, I don’t get the things that I want (and need) to do done.
Unfortunately, I’ve been having a lot of unbearable pain days as of lately. This means that my to-do list is growing and growing and I haven’t really been able to check things off.
I’ve learned, when this happens, to seriously cut down on my expectations for myself. If everyone is fed, the dishes are done and the bathroom is relatively clean, and everyone is where they are supposed to be….I pat myself on the back for a job well done. It’s the small things.