I’ve been kind of stuck in this awkward, weird, depressing, and almost painful limbo. All the things I want to do, I can’t…at least not right now. Which makes me feel kind of bummed out and a whole lot restless.
Do you ever feel like you aren’t really living? That you’re just completing mindless tasks, coasting through each and every day and feeling like a complete failure for it?
I don’t feel this way all the time, just….most of the time.
I want to start doing things, I want to start living. And I know, the easy solution is to start doing them…but unfortunately, there’s more to it than that. Everything costs money. All the great adventures, all the journeying to get where you want to go, you’ve gotta pay for it in order to do it.
Hot summer days were meant for camping and lake trips, beaches and drive ins, zoos and road trips. We’ve done some stuff…but I keep feeling like, it’s not enough. I’m not doing enough. I’m not enough.
And I know, to an extent, it’s all in my head. I have these unreasonably high expectations. But even though I know that, it’s still hard to get over. It’s exhausting to battle it out with myself.
So, that’s where my head is at now. Where’s your head at?
P.S I’m sorry for all the negative toned posts. I’m not consistently negative but I think I’m more likely to write about my negative stuff because I allow myself to wallow. On my happy, positive days, I’m too busy enjoying the fact that I’m happy.