The air is thick today, or maybe my windpipe has slowly closed, leaving the smallest of space for oxygen to draw in. Just enough to keep me alive, but it still feels like I am drowning.
My stomach trembles. It feels impossibly empty, although I’ve had a hearty breakfast and a decent lunch. I am not hungry, but my stomach feels as if it is void of nutrients. I feel as if I am void.
I don’t really know what my deal is today, I don’t understand why I feel the way I feel. Hallow. Empty. Void. All I know is that’s how I feel.
I can’t begin to sift through all the bullshit and get to the root of my problem, either. I am in denial. I am floating. I am oblivious.
Contradictions are likely to blame for the anxiety coiled in my stomach. Contradictions that I can’t dissect with words.
Maybe my restless night of sleep is contributing in some ways…I don’t know. But I do know that today is just a day. No matter how impossibly long and hard it feels in this moment, it will pass. The dawn will come with a new day where I will maybe feel more centered.
But for now…it’s okay to feel a little off balance.