#TuesdayThoughts: It Starts With You

I used to be one of those people who complained about every single photo someone else took of me and posted online. I would see my flaws; the things about myself that I didn’t like: my scars and bone growths, my misshaped limbs. My differences; my insecurities captured in a photograph and shared for all to see.

I used to beg them to delete the unflattering photo from existence. I used to sink into a pit of self-pitying despair because I didn’t look like those unrealistic models and actresses in magazines; I didn’t fit into society’s definition of “beautiful”.

Which, if I’m being perfectly honest, is a load of crock.

When I became a parent; all of that changed, and it continues to change more and more with each day. I can’t honestly look at photos of myself and hate those elements; the scars and the bone growths, the misshaped limbs.

I can’t even resent the weight gain. I’m no longer in my late teens; my body has had to adjust to the experiences I’ve had. Pregnancies have changed it, and that’s okay because those pregnancies brought me my beautiful boys.

Those beautiful boys have both inherited my bone disorder. It took having them and learning of their diagnosis to realize the way I looked at myself was so damaging, and frankly wrong.

Every body is different, and that’s okay. The narrative of only one size or look is worthy needs to fucking stop, and it needs to stop now. I’m tired of living with unrealistic expectations. I’m tired of that narrative effecting not only how I see myself, but how everyone I love sees themselves. Everybody is striving for this impossible beauty standard and the only way we’re going to change it is to rewrite it.

Change the narrative; stop adding to it by insulting your own body, by hating everything about it. Your body is your life vessel; and it may not be perfect, but it’s yours, so love it anyway.

Scars and bone growths do not diminish beauty, and nor does size. Your true beauty shines through in your actions; so live in the moment. Love, laugh, be.

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