Not Always Good

I’m not always good at staying in touch. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that my energy levels get so depleted that I can’t. I blink, and suddenly three weeks have gone by, and I realize that I haven’t spoken to the people closest to me–outside of those who live with me, of course.

Lately, pain has been kicking my tired arse. I could blame it on the weather–it’s getting colder now, there’s a chill along with the dampness and it settles deep into my bones and lingers. There’s little I can do to relieve it, short of pain killers, piling heat pads on me, and riding out the storm.

But this additional pain…it reminds me of the impending winter. It’s going to be brutal, I can feel it already, and that scares me a little. I’m already so spent.

Chronic pain is exhausting. Until you’ve dealt with it first hand, you really don’t know how excruciatingly taxing it is; how wearying simple tasks like making meals and cleaning up after making meals can be. How draining it is to go about all the regular, tiny things you need to do throughout the day, and still have the momentum and energy for the extra things you want to do.

I’ve never been good at juggling, but every day I try my best anyway. Sometimes, it sucks to know that no matter how hard I try, I’ll always drop a ball or two.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you love someone with chronic pain; please don’t mistake their silence or withdrawal for not caring. They care, they’re just fighting a battle that sometimes requires them to slow down and shut down out of sheer self-preservation. Those spoons don’t wash themselves! ❤️

Happy Monday, warriors.

1 Comment

  1. Mom

    Oh Sweetheart….
    I am understanding first-hand over the past 5 years what you have been dealing with forever 😢
    I too am worrying that this winter may well be rather brutal….and I’m so not looking forward to it.
    Sending you lots of love and (((big))) hugs! xoxo


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