Not Always Good

I’m not always good at staying in touch. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that my energy levels get so depleted that I can’t. I blink, and suddenly three weeks have gone by, and I realize that I haven’t spoken to the people closest to me–outside of those who live with me, of course.

Lately, pain has been kicking my tired arse. I could blame it on the weather–it’s getting colder now, there’s a chill along with the dampness and it settles deep into my bones and lingers. There’s little I can do to relieve it, short of pain killers, piling heat pads on me, and riding out the storm.

But this additional pain…it reminds me of the impending winter. It’s going to be brutal, I can feel it already, and that scares me a little. I’m already so spent.

Chronic pain is exhausting. Until you’ve dealt with it first hand, you really don’t know how excruciatingly taxing it is; how wearying simple tasks like making meals and cleaning up after making meals can be. How draining it is to go about all the regular, tiny things you need to do throughout the day, and still have the momentum and energy for the extra things you want to do.

I’ve never been good at juggling, but every day I try my best anyway. Sometimes, it sucks to know that no matter how hard I try, I’ll always drop a ball or two.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you love someone with chronic pain; please don’t mistake their silence or withdrawal for not caring. They care, they’re just fighting a battle that sometimes requires them to slow down and shut down out of sheer self-preservation. Those spoons don’t wash themselves! ❤️

Happy Monday, warriors.

2 Comments

  1. Mom

    Oh Sweetheart….
    I am understanding first-hand over the past 5 years what you have been dealing with forever 😢
    I too am worrying that this winter may well be rather brutal….and I’m so not looking forward to it.
    Sending you lots of love and (((big))) hugs! xoxo

    Reply
  2. Tierney

    Hi! Long time no talk!
    Just wanted to give a quick suggestion I stumbled across for my own pain that I think you’ll LOVE! We have a king size bed and I bought a king size heated blanket and put it under our fitted sheet (so between the mattress protector and the sheet). It comes with a duel remote so that I can turn my side on while my husbands isn’t. Putting it on low even 10 minutes before getting into bed has made a WORLD of difference. It allows me to actually relax and not stay so stiff. I’m sure it would help with your pain, too! Not to mention, it’s also just cozy! Maybe a good Christmas gift idea 😉

    Another tip: does the Walmart near you hve grocery pick up? I think 90% of them do now. All you do is order your groceries online (which actually works out for the best because I spend WAY less that way!) and pick it up the next day. They load it right into your trunk! It’s a win-win… you don’t have to use your energy to shop OR load the car! Oh, and it’s free 🙂

    (No, I definitely don’t work at Walmart haha but any of the tips and tricks that work for my own pain are things I jump on sharing with others in the event that they may help you! Good luck ☺️)

    Reply

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