Things Are…

My blog voice feels a little bit rusty, right now. It’s been a while since I used it, but I’m busting it out today. No time like the present, right?

Things are…really great, and also…things have been a whole lot stressful.

54800270_608552176238538_7481443828285571072_nWe are settled into our new home, and we’re loving it. This town is pretty neat, with it’s old history and tiny charm. Our new house feels a lot bigger, too. The school is great, the people that we’ve met are friendly, and having my sister a few minutes away has been pretty awesome. A chunk of our friends have relocated out this way, too–so that’s been pretty great.

In that regard, we’re thriving and happy. But things are also tight, because moving around Christmas was, well, so not cheap. With one steady income, we’re still playing catch up, and I’ve been taking work on when and where I can, too. I’m still writing, of course, but I’m not sure if I’ll be able to meet my personal publishing deadlines.

In early March, Matt and I took the boys to their specialist appointment, where x-rays concluded that it was time for our youngest son to have the problematic bone growth between his radius and ulna removed. It’s really beginning to push both his radius and ulna out of socket, and it causes him pain frequently. There’s another bone growth on the inside of his right knee that causes frequent pain and consistently smashes against his other knee, so his doctor is removing that one as well. Luckily, that one is a fairly easy heal, if memory serves me right. Unfortunately, I’ve never had surgery on that particular spot–between the radius and ulna.

We also learned that our oldest son requires surgery, too. Since their last appointment, the bone growth behind his right knee has grown and is putting pressure on the muscles, nerves, and tendons around it. Although he has a comfortable chair to use at school, it still causes irritation and inflammation for him to sit for long lengths of time. He also has a bone growth on his right shoulder that causes him a lot of pain, and a small one on his left middle finger that causes his finger to stiffen up. They’ll be removing another bone growth from his knee, too. That’s four exostoses removals for him, and two for my youngest.

The surgery will be booked for spring some time, we’ll receive a date after April 5th, once we’ve completed the CT scan they require of my youngest’s arm and his specialists have had time to review it. We won’t get much of a say on when, but that’s how these things tend to work.

Admittedly…I’m nervous. I’ve had over twenty-eight surgeries, so I know what they entail, what they’re like; but I have never sat on the other side of that operating room door.

I know these surgeries are needed; in recent months, I’ve watched both of their mobility decrease and their pain days increase. It’s not easy to see your child in pain, and then there is the guilt. Mom guilt, it’s something that–if you’re a mom–you know well. As mothers, we constantly worry about everything, and we feel guilty over everything. Working too much, too much screen time, not enough reading time–the guilt, to some degree, is always there, and it seems pretty boundless right now.

We’ll be okay; we’ll get through this as a family, and we’ll come out stronger for it. We’ve got plans in place with the school and physio/occupational therapies post-op, and the boys are almost looking forward to it. The surgeries are little lights at the end of exceptionally irritating pain tunnels. Winter was hard on them both; we didn’t do much, and warm blankets, heating pads, pain medicines and pain relief lotions have been in constant rotation around here.

But, if you’ve noticed how quiet I’ve been lately…this is why.

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